Let Me Attempt To Boot 'Cha
by Fireflower19
Summary: A series of one-shots and two-shots where Satoshi tries to find ways in which to rid himself of his curse. Mainly humorous. CHAPTER 3: 'OPERA'TIVE KRAD is UP!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. D.N. Angel!

**)*(**Let Me Attempt To Boot 'Cha**)*(**

_Part One: Seppuku Challenge_

**A/N:**** I dedicate this to Dawns Eternal Twilight, whom I wish was in better health. Get better soon!**

**Also, thanks, intelligenceisstupid, for your input in this. :D **

**-****)*(****-**

It was late night deep within the heart of the town Azumano. It was humid and distant heat lightning flashed, showing the thick weave of rain clouds ready to pour and drench the few stragglers still about. But that isn't what made Krad drag his feet down the sidewalk.

Restlessness tore at him, as well as a sense of fruitlessness – Dark had done it again. Exactly one hour ago he had successfully stolen another beloved Hikari treasure. And Krad had been all but powerless to stop it.

But, oh, how the white angel had tried.

Frantically.

Krad had pulled out everything; simply EVERYTHING to catch his despicable other half this time: laser sensors, cameras, radar, trap wires, tasers, trick doors and rooms, traps that even James Bond couldn't have gotten out of, and, when all that had failed, Krad had given chase, only to make the dumbest of all mistakes and lose sight of his target. Dark had seemed to disappear upward into the sky and stars, but not regular stars, mind you, but the kind you receive from smashing to a sudden, teeth-jarring stop.

What a dumb mistake he'd made...

...And that dumb mistake was still hurting. Krad rubbed the middle of his forehead again, right where the lamppost had smacked him a gigantic goose egg. Damn! If he didn't know better he'd swear that lamppost had jumped out in front of him.

"Why?" Krad questioned to himself as he walked through town, almost feigning a normal human. What few people there were stared at him and his strange garb, with his enormous pristine wings dragging a burden behind him. It was a depressing sight watching the plainly evident, radiating heaviness in the weird man's heart as he went slowly by, the white feathers rubbing the uneven concrete, bending and quickly becoming shabby.

"Why can't I catch him?" Krad looked up at the rolling sky, his hands tucked deep into his white cloak's pockets. Rain began trickling onto his upturned face, splattering his cheeks. It was the closest thing to tears he'd had in centuries. Lowering his face, his bangs hiding his golden eyes, he continued on, seeing fewer and fewer places opened this time of night. Why he was even paying attention to humanities' civilization, he didn't know. He certainly wouldn't want to step foot inside a building run by the pests.

His stomach growled pitifully, but he didn't feel hungry. Still, Krad's eyes flicked over a neon red sign over on the opposite side of the street.

'Treb's Diner & Bar'

Underneath this was another, similar, though smaller sign:

'_Best Hot Wings In Town!_'

_**That would be good...**_ Krad caught Satoshi thinking in a grumpy whisper.

So it had been Satoshi's interest that had mingled and teased his subconscious into searching and seeking around him. He harrumphed; Krad would sooner hunt than let a primitive instinct for nutrition drive him further into human clutches. He gave a somewhat delicate snort towards the diner and was about to turn away when another sign, this one taped up and typed on paper, caught his eye:

'_"SUICIDE HOT WINGS: SEPPUKU CHALLENGE" HELD HERE! COME IN AND TRY IF YOU DARE. BE PREPARED TO SIGN A WAVER._'

"Suicide?" How oddly that peaked his interest.

**'Are you that depressed tonight?'** Satoshi asked, his mental form raising a disapproving eyebrow at the angel.

'Suicide is a contemplation for weak humans, however, to me, it poses its own challenge; I've toyed with death too long to fear it.'

This got the gears in Satoshi's head ticking. With a creepy grin that nearly turned his mouth into a 'V', he proposed an offer.

**'Give it a go, then. And let's make this interesting for you; give you something to really gain: If you run from the pain and leave me in control, then you forfeit your claim of any mastery over my body. In other words, if you can't handle a simple human challenge, then you have no right to be like us in any way.'**

Krad sucked his teeth loudly, then leaned his back against a damp building, fingers twisting in his pockets.

'What do I get if I successfully complete this challenge? Surely you are not willing to bet your existence on a food contest.'

**'As if I would be so stupid.'** Satoshi blushed, flustered, then thought quietly for a few minutes. **'I'll... let you destroy that lamppost that stopped us earlier. Though I think you already did that...'** Satoshi voiced lowly. The thing was nothing but crinkled metal and shattered glass in the middle of a street now.

'Satoshi-sama, I hardly believe those terms are fair; the severity of my loss is so much more than yours.'

** 'What would you care for then? As long as it is safe for those around us, I might just agree.'**

'Satoshi-sama, you are generous.' Krad looked to the raining sky and smiled. Their heart jumped a bit as Satoshi realized his curse was being completely serious in his remark. Krad looked back down and swiped his long bang from sticking on his wet face.

'A kiss.'

**'What?' **Satoshi managed to hammer across their consciousness in surprise and then fall back way away to the border of their mind. It was as if he ricocheted. It was a most unpleasant sensation as the white angel winced an eye shut. **'I didn't hear that right. K-kiss? How? With whom?'**

Krad shrugged off Satoshi's utter shock. 'Everyone wants affection at some point. And you know how to kiss – two beings bring their lips together and –'

**'ENOUGH!'** Satoshi barked, his forced rippling through their head. Krad grabbed his skull.

'We still have a headache...' the golden hunter reminded sourly. 'So, is it a deal?' Krad wasn't waiting for Satoshi to answer, but crossed the empty street for the diner. He pushed in one of the double doors, letting the uneasiness crawling through him gather in his stomach, then he trampled it down. He hated unfamiliar buildings, especially when they were filled to the brim with unfamiliar people; and there were a lot of people filling up the booths lining the walls and stools set by the long rectangular bar in the middle, even though there were so few cars parked outside.

**'You haven't told me who it is you've got in mind to kiss...'** Satoshi still couldn't believe Krad had asked to do such a thing. Disbelief clearly laced his voice.

As Krad's eerie golden-amber eyes scanned the interior of the place and spotted an empty booth in the back, he answered, 'If I told you, you wouldn't understand. Why not instead balance what you have to gain compared to what you have to lose and see if it is not worth it?'

**'That depends. Are you wanting to... t-to...'** Satoshi's mental image closed its eyes, trying to force the sputtering words out of its mouth. Krad grinned haughtily and lightly darted the tip of his tongue across his lips. Satoshi sputtered worse than a broken tea kettle, then gave up trying to say anything at all.

'A kiss means a kiss; I want the kiss to have everything a kiss can have.'

"Hey, hottie, come here often?" A curly blond-haired woman came up fast, sticking her angular face up close to his. Krad stared down at the shorter woman, his expression cold.

"Don't be like that!" she admonished, narrowing and crinkling heavily made-up eyelids. "You were looking right at me a second ago; you practically called me over here!"

**'Krad, I think she thinks you were licking your lips while looking at her...'**

Krad was so appalled that he stepped back as if he'd been electrocuted, his wings flaring up to bang painfully against the door frame of the place. He yelped and almost lost his dignity falling backward, but twisted on his heels to catch himself as he barreled outside and down the sidewalk. The woman stared at his highly ruffled feathers.

"Oh my gosh! He's the real deal! He's the White One!" Krad kept running as two women and a man joined the woman at the door to look. Many more were turning heads at him before wide, darkened windows.

**'You're forfeiting the challenge so easily?'**

'You never agreed!'

**'But I do agree.'**

'Forget it! I can and will take over your body anytime I see fit!'

**'Krad. What about your pride? Can't beat a human on their terms?'**

Krad slowed to a stop. "I will kill –" he growled before getting pummeled. He twisted to face whatever it was that had plowed into him, falling backwards as his vision filled with blond curls, and with it, his innards with dread. He smacked the concrete with an 'umpff!', the woman sprawled on top of him. White feathers scattered upward. Her weight was smothering him. For someone smaller than him, she sure weighed a lot more. But... she had curves in all the right places. ...Wait... Where were his hands!

Krad shoved her off, feeling as if he'd never get enough air back in his suddenly empty lungs.

_This is what I get for coming back through teenagers!_

"Ouch!" the woman squeaked as her skirt-clad butt came into contact with the rough ground. "At least tell me your name!" she shouted up to Krad as he scrambled to his feet. "You can join us, you know? Takuya is attempting the suicide challenge too!" Krad stared down at her as if he'd never seen her clearly before.

"How did you know I wanted to try that?"

"Cassie!"

The blond woman looked back at her girlfriend running to catch up. She was followed by the rest of their group and close friends: Takuya and Miki.

"Cherri! I'm fine," Cassie said, as the dark redheaded woman raced to help her up. Krad could feel the sweat gathering on his skin as the other two quickly joined them. He couldn't keep running away like a coward, and Satoshi would manage to stop him before he could finish more than two off on account of his power was low for being out so long tonight. Besides, his pride had been rubbed against when Satoshi had said what he had. Why not complete this silly, little challenge with the bluenette's blessing? Krad forced a smile to his face. His cheeks twitched oddly. Which was odd because he could usually put up a nice facade.

"Kyaa!" Miki, the most petite of the group, shouted with vigor, "he's so cute!" Her short, black hair swayed as she jumped about. Krad's smile became even more forced. Cassie stepped closer to Krad, and his smile was lost to the true one stretching her lips.

"To answer your question: I saw you studying the bar earlier and debating. It could only be over the challenge; it's what _Treb's _is best known for. I wonder if you've got what it takes to beat it; many people have tried and only four or five have succeeded."

A fire lit in Krad's eyes. "I am not easy to beat." Cassie leaned forward, thrusting out her hips and shaking them. Krad couldn't help but notice her low-cut haulter top and what it was showing a good amount of. He blinked and looked pointedly away. "Join us and prove it." Krad's gaze swiveled instantly back to hers as he bristled at the challenge. Both narrowed their eyes at the other. Cherri playfully elbowed Cassie.

"Got it in for another already?" she giggled.

"So, I've already elected to do the challenge. Want to go after me... uh... what's your name again?" Takuya stepped from behind Miki, his height and short, brown spikes making him taller than her by at least a foot.

"I have not said," Krad answered. _And it is not for a lowlife such as yourself to know!_

**'Krad,'** Satoshi hissed, **'you'll need to sign a waver anyway.'**

'Then I will just use your name.'

**'No,'** Satoshi said sternly. **'You have to present a picture ID along with your signature. You will have to use your real name, along with the card you've got.'**

"Mind telling us your name? I'm Takuya, and this is Miki beside me. I think you already know Cassie," he grinned, "and Cherri."

"I-I am..." Why was he stuttering? Was it because all three girls were leaning close and looking at him as if their lives depended on them knowing his name? "I am... Krad Hikari," he said proudly, if only reluctant. All the girls screamed loudly.

"KKKKYYYYYAAAAHHHHHHHH! We know his name!" They all jumped, high-fiving each other. Meanwhile, Krad lost about a handful of feathers as he jolted, shell-shocked. Had he just gotten hit with a bomb? Takuya held his ears, trying to block out the deafening ring.

"Girls!" Takuya both complained and tried to get their attention.

"Sorry," they all said with big smiles on their faces.

**-.-**

He entered the diner, not feeling any better than the last time he'd tried to, his new acquaintances behind him. It was a bit smoky this far in and the gray wisps floating up from cigarettes danced around the many hanging, dim lights. The place was simple with its wood theme, but it was decorative. Many different types of wood had been used in its construction, and many were polished to rich and dark exotic colors. Obviously a lot of effort and creativity had been put into it. Numerous photos of family and friends of the diner's caretakers were tacked up along all the walls, except for right behind the bar's register. Tacked there were the few photos and recognition to the victors of the infamous challenge. ...Every one of them looked to be in great pain...

**'I'm sticking around just long enough to make sure you're on your best behavior, then I'm out. And if you force me out to deal with the consequences, then you lose.'**

'I take back what I said when I called you generous.'

**'Are you pouting? You got yourself into this.'**

'It was a joint effort.'

**'Yeah, well...' **

Krad walked up to the bar and the older woman managing it. "I am here for the challenge," he said, fairly calm. He had to admit that he was excited. Somewhat. Nervous, too.

"He's with us, Hanabara-san," Takuya spoke up over his shoulder with a goofy grin.

"You guys are going to seriously regret this," she sighed, but pulled out a piece of paper from under the counter. "I need your signature and ID, please. Also, while you're at it, take a menu and pick a drink. It's on the house. Any friend of Takuya's gang is a friend of ours." She winked and clacked a pen on top of the paper. "And I suggest you drink the drink first before taking the challenge, or you'll never get to taste it. Once your stomach's pitching a fit, nothing else will be allowed into it."

Krad hurriedly looked down at the paper, gulping slightly. "Thank you," he said as he read over the script. The first part was a warning. If he had any health conditions whatsoever then he was advised not to take the challenge. _Treb's Diner & Bar_ also took no responsibility for him if he had to go to the E.R. He skipped over the rest of that part. Next were the conditions on which to win the challenge. He had to eat twelve wings dripping in sauce made from the "ghost pepper" within three minutes, and could not eat or drink anything else until told to. And he couldn't throw up within a time frame of five minutes. That seemed simple enough. In fact, it was so simple it had warning bells ringing. But he couldn't turn back now.

Next the paper told of his reward if he made it. He'd have a picture taken and framed to join the others on the wall and a pass that would allow him whatever he wanted in the diner free. And the pass would stay active for a _week_. The rules made it clear that the pass could only be used for him though. Below this was the dotted line for his signature. He clicked the end of the pen and drew it neatly across it, then reached into his cloak, clacking a plastic card down and sliding everything across the counter toward the bartender. The older woman studied his ID with slowly widening eyes before putting the signed paper back underneath the counter.

"That's a very unusual ID you have there," Hanabara said, as she handed it back to him. "How can you be so tall and weigh so little?"

"Let me see!" Cassie reached and snatched the card from her before Krad could properly grab it. "No way!" she sputtered. "That can't be true!"

"Let me see!" Cherri and Miki both hollered, but Krad snatched it back and stuffed it in his pocket quicker than the eye could see.

"He barely clears a hundred pounds!" Cassie turned to the girls, her jaw not working properly. "No way!" they all squeaked. Miki tried to reach the top of Krad's head. Her fingers barely cleared his hairline. "He's got to be over six foot!"

"And he's so photogenic!"

As the girls continued to chirp over this, Krad became exasperated. Takuya looked at him and their eyes met. He wore the same expression. Takuya pointed to the booth in the back, then left for it. Krad did the same.

"Hey, I didn't see your wings before," Hanabara spoke up, following them from on the opposite side of the counter, a menu clutched in her hands. "Here, you forgot to grab this," she said to Krad, handing it to him. "Are you cosplaying? We don't get many of those here," she said. Krad sniffed in an offended manner before stretching his wings wide open. Hanabara had little time to duck. "Oh, wow..." he heard her breathe from off the floor behind the wood separating them, then he felt a slight tug as she grabbed a feather and a cold finger tip as she eased up it to touch skin. He yanked it back as she gasped. "They're warm!"

"They are real," Krad almost growled.

"So you're what's been chasing The Phantom Thief sometimes?" She jumped up, slamming her hands to the counter, leaning over to inspect him closely. He nodded stiffly, not appreciating her scrutiny. The girls finally came over. "Yep, he's the real deal!" Cassie repeated.

"I hate to bust this up, but how about we let the guy get his drink and prepare for his challenge," Takuya said.

"Jealous, Takuya?" Cherri joked.

"No, but think. Maybe this is why Krad has never revealed himself to the public before now. It's too much hassle putting up with people ogling you just because you're different." At this, the people getting up to join them and fulfill their curiosity, sat down again, contrite.

"Ruin the atmosphere, why don't you?" Cassie complained, looking at the retreating people and crossing her arms.

"You sound like you've taken a persona insult to it, or something," Miki pouted. They all blinked at one another as they noticed the person they were arguing over had disappeared from their midst. They looked and quickly spotted him already sitting at their booth, the menu flat on the table as he looked it over. The way Krad was intensely studying it made them all think the same thing: _Has he never had a mixed drink before?_

The girls all rushed over to help.

"You should try the Long Island Ice Tea!" Cassie said, slipping her finger right over the text of it.

"I do not know half of the ingredients used in making it," Krad said, as way of dismissing it.

"You mean you've never had alcohol?" Miki asked in disbelief.

"Pssh! Bet he has. He's just a lightweight. Literally," Cherri laughed.

"Oh! Oh! If you like rum, try the Zombie," Cassie smiled broadly.

"No, I do not want anything alcoholic."

"You girls are picking some of the most potent drinks, are you trying to get him drunk?" Takuya asked, sliding in the booth opposite of Krad, folding his arms and staring at them all.

"Noooo," the three sang, but they kept pointing out and recommending drinks. Finally Hanabara came over to them.

"Know what you want?" she asked Krad, past the bent heads of the surrounding girls. Krad looked at her, his patience obviously thinning, and shook his head.

"I have not been able to read a thing yet."

"Girls! Quit suffocating him!" Hanabara barked. Miki and Cherri dispersed to sit beside Takuya, but Cassie, giggling, slid in beside Krad. He looked at her, and she him. It was a standoff.

"I'll order for you, dude," Takuya spoke. Turning to Hanabara, he said, "Just get him a coke."

"Boring," Cherri yawned, and quickly got up. "See ya in a bit." She winked, sashaying over to the other side of the bar and out of sight.

"She's up to something," Cassie said lowly. Everyone, excluding Krad, nodded.

"Anything for anyone else?"

"I'll take another Girl Scout Cookie!" Cassie requested, hand raised in the air.

"Um..." Miki fidgeted. "I can't say the name out loud... it's so inappropriate!"

"Whisper it to me, then." Hanabara bent to her level and she cupped her hand around the older woman's ear, blushing. Hanabara nodded. "That's not so bad," she chuckled, rising. "And you, Takuya?"

"I'll take a shot of Goldschlager."

"Going for the hard stuff, eh?"

"You know it!" Takuya grinned widely. Everyone seemed to be taking it easy here. They were so carefree. But Krad wasn't – he was busy looking for Cherri. The others had all agreed that she was up to something.

"I'll be right back with your orders, dears." Her heels clacked as she left.

"So, Krad-san, tell us about yourself." Cassie scooted a bit closer to him.

"No," Krad answered simply, making Cassie frown.

"Erm, isn't it weird to be eating wings when you have a set of your own?" Takuya asked. "It's almost like cannibalism, isn't it?"

Krad looked at him coolly, straight in the eyes. "Bigger birds eat smaller birds."

"Eh..." Takuya sweat dropped. "Okay..."

"How did you get your hair so long and shiny?" Miki asked. "It looks so smooth, too. Like silk." Krad didn't think so with it being damp and somewhat scraggly, but maybe it didn't look that way to her. She reached a small hand over the table to him, and something in him let her touch his long bang. She ran her fingertips through it once. "Such an unusual style too, but it fits you." She took her hand back, but left him a kind smile. She immediately became his favorite of the group. Meanwhile, Cassie was staring daggers at Miki.

"I'm back," Cherri, giggling like a maniac, came sliding in next to Miki.

"What did you do?" Takuya asked in a droning voice.

"Nothing!" Cherri beamed over at him.

"Like we're believing that," Miki chuckled.

"Spill," Cassie said sharply.

Cherri looked her up and down. "Something sure ruffled your feathers while I was away."

"Pardon." Krad raised a curious eyebrow.

"Oh, not you," Cherri laughed. "It's an expression for her attitude," she explained, pointing at Cassie.

"Didn't your mom teach you that pointing is rude?"

"Ladies, ladies," Takuya tried to soothe. "Remember why we're here."

This quietened them up.

"Here you all are." Hanabara walked to them with a tray full of drinks. She set a shot glass of clear liquid dotted with gold slivers in front of Takuya, a somehow brownish-green drink in front of Miki, a glass of what looked like chocolate cream in front of Cassie, and, finally, a regular glass of ice and coke in front of Krad, whom watched the fizz in his drink for a moment.

"Would you like something, Cherri?" the bartender asked. "I didn't get an order from you last time." Cherri just smiled toothily and shook her head. Hanabara shook her own in an exasperated manner and walked back to the bar. Without further ado, Takuya knocked back his shot like it was nothing. He clacked the thick shot glass down and sighed long and hard. There came a strong smell of cinnamon.

"That will always be my favorite!"

Miki sipped her drink, a look of ecstasy on her face. "And this mine," she mumbled past the straw.

"You can't beat chocolate and mint!" Cassie gulped hers almost gone in the first go.

Krad was watching each one handle their drinks, curious to see if he would notice any differences in them. He soon caught Cherri watching him like a hawk, a smile never leaving her face. She was waiting for something. He furrowed his brows at her and she finally looked away, only to watch him from the corner of her eye. He ignored her, finally bending to his drink, which had a straw. He gave it a test sip. It burned a little, but that was probably the carbonation; he wasn't used to soft drinks. Satoshi usually drank either juice or water.

He took another tentative pull from it. The flavor was robust, sweet, and a little spicy. Another words, it was totally addicting! Krad drank happily until the glass was nearly empty.

"Wow. One would think you've never had a soda before," Takuya said.

"They are a... rare treat for me," Krad explained, feeling warm, relaxed, and somehow... fuzzy. He shrugged, stifling a burp. It went through his nose instead and burnt, making his eyes water. He scrunched his eyes, rubbing his nose to alleviate some of the pain.

"So, Takuya, if you have much more alcohol, you aren't going to be able to take that challenge and keep from puking. You wouldn't want us to remember that for your going away party, would you?" Cherri said, her smile faltering a bit.

"One more Goldschlager," he said, slapping his cheeks. "I can take it!"

"I'll go order it for you. Also, I saw your wings being cooked, they're probably done by now. I hope you're ready." She got up to go to the bar, looked back and blew him a kiss. Takuya laughed, though a little nervously. "B-bring it on!"

Krad noticed a light tingling sensation starting in his legs. Perplexed, he wondered what could be the problem. The others seemed able to sense something was up with him, probably from the look on his face.

"What's the matter?" Miki asked him.

"Nothing." Krad shook his head, which made the earth spin slightly different.

"Something is going on; your eyes are huge," Takuya stated.

"I do not know... what the matter is." Krad tried to stand up, but he swayed and Cassie forced him back down. "Are you drunk?" she asked incredulously.

"How? He didn't have anything with alcohol," Miki pointed out. Getting a bad feeling, Takuya practically snatched Krad's glass off the table and put it up to his nose. He gave it a slight sniff.

"Cherri," he said. "She must have spiked it when she was up at the bar. It was loaded with rum." He thrust the glass across the table and it nearly fell off the edge. Krad stood, anger nailing him in place. His wings rose in an arch above him, but unlike him, they took turns rising and falling a few inches, unable to find balance. Cassie stood with him.

"Please don't be mad," she said, "Cherri didn't mean any harm! She just goes overboard sometimes..."

Krad growled dangerously. Cassie backed away from him.

"I should not have had alcohol..."

"Why?" Miki asked, fearing the answer. Krad just shook his head gently – him and his wings drooping slowly back towards the table.

"What happens when you have alcohol?" Takuya asked, coaxing an answer.

"I... do not... know," he admitted. He extended his arms to the table to hold himself up. Why did the floor feel so soft under his feet?

"I'm so sorry," Miki said. "We'll make sure and take care of you if anything happens." She bit her lip, highly uncomfortable about the situation.

"Oh, come on! Surely that little bit couldn't be such a big deal for you." Cherri came back, a platter in her hands, along with another shot of Goldschlager.

"Cherri, what –" But Takuya didn't get to finish. Krad had belly-flopped onto the table, trying to reach over for her. Cherri backed in time to avoid his swiping hands.

"Easy, boy, just enjoy your night tonight. We won't steer you wrong."

"I don't know, you don't seem very trustworthy," Miki said disapprovingly. She looked almost as angry as Krad, but Cassie appeared ready to worship Cherri and her trouble-making ways.

"Krad-san, just try to relax. Getting upset only makes the effects of the alcohol worse," Takuya explained, moving to pull Krad back down off the table. Krad growled, but plopped stiffly back into his seat. "Miki and I won't let them sneak anything else to you. And in about an hour and a half, you'll be back to normal."

"Oi, Takuya, you don't know how to read people very well, do you?" Cherri chortled and sat opposite of Krad, whom looked at her icily.

"What do you mean?" Takuya asked, not understanding where she was going with this.

"I mean, Krad-san is the type that never lets his guard down; never enjoys the easy way in life, unless by force. ...It's hard to explain, so just watch this." Cherri gazed right into Krad's eyes. He looked back at her hatefully, but she didn't flinch. "Thank the alcohol for this," she said, then pinched her cheeks and stuck out her tongue, making the absolute weirdest sound Krad had ever heard in his life.

It was as if he'd been slap with confusion. Then a sound burst from him, and he was lost to wave after wave of laughter. It was too much and he choked, coughing, and leaned sideways in his seat, unable to hold himself up, suddenly too weak and warm. Cherri appeared mighty pleased with herself as Miki and Takuya looked on wonderingly. Cassie started giggling. "I like him much better like this," she said.

"See?" Cherri stood back up, "I did it for his own good. Bottling yourself up like that isn't good for stress levels."

"Still, you shouldn't have went behind his back like you did." But Miki couldn't help chuckling a bit as well. Takuya just rubbed the back of his head and sighed, "What's done is done. We'll just have to take responsibility for him."

Krad suddenly sobered as fast as if someone had hit him upside the head with a two by four. He sat up and grabbed a napkin, wiping his lips and looking astonished as much as ashamed of himself. "What...?"

"That was you, my dear," Cherri said, hands on her hips. "You'll be fine if you just enjoy yourself some more." She reached and shoved Takuya's shot of Goldschlager to the white angel. "Here."

"Cherri! He's not used to drinking and you're giving him a light after he's drank a dark? You don't mix different liquors at the best of times!" Takuya voiced, amazed at his friend.

"Oh, hush! We're here for him."

"B-but we don't even know what kind of drinker he is. Maybe he's bad as a drunk..." Miki looked worriedly from Cherri to Krad.

"Tch! He's obviously a happy drunk," Cassie said, sliding beside Krad again, but Krad was shaking his head.

"No more," he said. "I just want to take the challenge and leave."

Cassie looked heart-broken, but Takuya nodded. "I can't blame you," he said. "Alright then, do you want to take the challenge at the same time as me? I bet your batch of wings is nearly done by now. The kitchen is pretty big."

"That would be fine."

Speaking of, Hanabara was coming to them with a platter of the steaming food.

"I'll be referee. Give them a few minutes to cool, and then have at them," she announced as she set a full plate down before Krad, who eyed it miserably. Could he do this? "Restrooms are a little further down to your left if you need them. I'm going back for a pitcher of milk just in case this is too much for either of you," Hanabara said. She didn't believe they could do it. It added to both mens' determination. But the rising steam was making Krad's nose burn... He looked up to the distant roof and felt like praying. And with that, Satoshi quietly excused himself behind the strongest mental barrier he could possibly make.

**-****)*(****-**

**A/N:**** I realize the alcohol worked unusually fast on Krad here. It generally takes about thirty minutes to fully feel the effects of it after consumption, but remember Krad isn't a normal human. His stomach is also empty. And, he's so lightweight, **_**and**_** he isn't used to drinking. That alone would make it very easy and quick to get him drunk. Course, he's only a little more than tipsy here. **

**By the way, this is a two-shot. Hope to have the second part up soon. And, please, tell me what you think of this. Reviews are awesome! **


	2. Chapter 2

**)*(**Let Me Attempt To Boot 'Cha**)*(**

_Part Two: Seppuku Challenge_

**-****)*(****-**

"So, any last words as we wait for our choices of death to cool?" Takuya tried to seem nonchalant, but it was obvious now that the time of reckoning had come, he was petrified. He seemed to shrink into himself a little in the corner of the booth where he sat.

"They won't really kill you," Cassie snorted, wrinkling her nose at him.

"You can still back out, Takuya. You too, Krad," Miki said nicely, turning slightly to pat Takuya's shoulder while giving Krad a comforting look across the table. She wouldn't hold it over them if they wanted to quit. All of them had felt their sinuses burn with the plume of rising steam.

How could any edible thing be so hot? Maybe... it wasn't edible... Or maybe it just really wasn't a good idea for it to be...

"Have you lost your confidence, Takuya-san?" Krad asked a bit cockily, trying to show some backbone as his eyes scanned over the slightly smaller man. He wouldn't let a mere batch of food run him away. And he hadn't forgotten about the deal between him and Satoshi.

"Hehe... hehe," Takuya barely managed a laugh, ending on a pathetic squeak. He cleared his throat. "No," he said sternly, screwing up his courage. "This is something I said I'd try when I first moved here, and now that I'm going away, this is my last chance." His face showed the utmost determination.

"Takuya... we weren't even serious when we talked about the challenge back then..." Miki didn't want him to feel pressured. She bit her bottom lip.

"I was serious," Cherri said with a shrug as she bottomed-up a small glass of Amaretto and pineapple, finishing it off. In the booth, Miki kicked left and bumped her ankle. "What?" Cherri turned to her and asked innocently.

"Maybe you should take the challenge, Cherri," Cassie said with a sneer, a very thin straw between her teeth; she'd ordered another Girl Scout Cookie.

"Only if you do, sweetie." Cherri raised her empty glass to her long-time friend and winked. Hanabara swiftly returned with a pitcher of milk, a couple of plastic cups, some thick napkins, and a stopwatch. She put everything on the table, then poured two full cups of milk and placed them in front of the two plates of wings. She set out the napkins and cleared away all their clutter of empty glasses.

"Someone needs to drink that shot of Goldschlager and let it set. I'll be back in five minutes. Do what you need to do and be ready," she said, turning and walking away. Why did it feel as if she pitied them?

"I think she feels guilty over letting us do the challenge..." Takuya said nervously, glancing over his shoulder at the leaving bartender.

"Not helping morale thinking like that," Cherri said.

"You can either do it, or you cannot," Krad said, inspecting the hall and memorizing where the restrooms were.

"You're not helping either!" Cassie thumped Krad's shoulder playfully. He looked a little taken aback, but slowly, Krad was getting used to the behavior of these people. A small part of him was actually liking it. Never could they be trusted or confided to, but they could talk and try new things, even understand one another on a basic level.

"This steam is really messing up my nose," Takuya said, leaning over his plate. He suddenly reared up straight, brushing his fingers over his eyes. "Whoa!" He blinked, looking at everyone through slightly redder and watery eyes. "You can't get close to them!"

"Remember that the oil from the pepper can burn skin. Be careful after you touch them not to touch anywhere near your eyes until you wash thoroughly," Miki reminded. "Hanabara-san also said to wash as soon as possible."

"It's a wonder a person can even digest those things," Cassie said, eying the plates with renewed respect.

"That's why it's called the 'seppuku challenge'; after a while in your stomach, it feels like something is stabbing you." Cherri brushed wavy red hair over her shoulder.

"Don't remind me," Takuya said, glum. Krad was slowly turning his face more and more away from the wings.

"And you know what else they say," Cassie chuckled, "that it hurts worse –"

"–Coming back up?" Miki interrupted curiously.

"Yeah." Cassie nodded. "Among other things..." She hid a cheeky smile behind her hand.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight," Takuya complained loudly, seeming to sink into his seat. "I'm going to be so tired waiting for my flight tomorrow."

"Don't go then," Cherri quickly said, a little more forcefully and desperately than she meant to. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she wished she could take them back.

Takuya gave her a studious look. "You know I have to." Cherri frowned; she didn't want to hear this again. Standing, she went to the bar for another drink. Once she was out of earshot, Cassie turned to Takuya. "You know how she feels about you."

"We grew up as friends – all of us. I don't want to ruin anything by taking things further than that."

"But..." Cassie trailed off, not knowing what else to say. She knew all too well what unrequited love felt like, and she did not wish that pain on anyone.

"It wouldn't ruin anything; we'd all still be close," Miki said, searching to say the right thing. Takuya reached over for his shot that got pushed close to Krad and brought it to him, immediately drinking it. He shook his head and put the short, thick glass down a little harder than he meant to.

"I don't want to; she's too wild for me. Cherri's tough, and hard to predict."

"The fairer gender really is not fair," Krad said, figuring the gang had managed to mostly forget about him in light of their current dilemma.

"What do you mean?" Miki asked. Golden eyes looked and searched her deep blue ones.

"Women can be just like men in a lot of ways," he said knowingly.

"Do you know a lot of women? You can't be that much older than us," Cassie said.

"..." Krad remained quiet.

"You don't seem the sort for one-night stands," Cassie continued, her eyes widening a bit.

"Don't accuse him of such a thing!" Miki chastised, nearly jumping to reach across the table to smack her friend. "I think you've had too much to drink; your mouth has gotten too loose!" Takuya hammered once on the table, causing the dishes to clink as he laughed. Oddly, Krad started laughing as well, but it was somewhat chilling. The girls looked over at him. Miki was studying him with concern, but Cassie looked about ready to eat him up. Krad noticed and quietened down, drawing his lips, instead, into a smile. His eyes seemed to radiate a small glow. There was something different about him, relaxed; it was as if he'd grown accustomed to them all and they'd gained a powerful ally. Then, he did something no one could have foreseen: he reached close beside him to Cassie's face and forced her chin up. She went ridged in surprise, then completely relaxed, wishing and beyond hope that he was about to do what she thought he was about to do. Krad leaned down close, his nose nearly touching hers. His eyes glittered mischievously as hers closed and her lips puckered slightly in anticipation for his.

"Are you always so naughty?" Krad asked, mirth in his voice. Cassie opened her eyes again and blushed, then squeaked in embarrassment as her nose started bleeding lightly. She reached for one of their napkins. Takuya howled with laughter, and Krad couldn't stop chuckling as he quickly lifted away.

"You're so mean to tease like that!" She wiped her nose viciously.

"Don't worry, they won't be laughing for much longer," Hanabara said, coming up and resetting the stopwatch in her hand. Takuya immediately shut up. Krad just looked up at her, then took in a deep breath to prepare himself.

"Alright, girls, up here with me so you don't get sauce slung on you in their frenzy," Cherri called, appearing from behind Hanabara to lean on the table of the booth opposite, a new glass in her hand.

"Right," Miki answered, sliding out.

"Don't have to tell me twice," Cassie said, following suit.

"Guys, get ready," Hanabara ordered, her thumb hovering over the start button of the watch. Takuya picked up a smothered wing and gulped. Krad picked up one of his, already ready for this competition to be over. "Get set." Takuya placed the wing right by his opened mouth and whined. Krad copied the pose, but not the noise. "GO!" Hanabara yelled, smashing down on the timer. People began cheering as Krad and Takuya bit into the meat.

It wasn't too warm from the stove anymore, and it tasted really good. Takuya found a fast pace rolling the bones and peeling off their meat with his teeth. By the second or third wing he was practically shoving them into his mouth and pulling them out pretty much clean. Krad was going a bit slower, but not by much. He pulled the meat off more delicately and more precisely, but he was swallowing faster, barely chewing. The faster the sauce got off his tongue, the better.

By the fourth wing, simultaneously, both men choked. Hot didn't even begin to describe the spicy heat stabbing needles into their tongues. And where the sauce had touched their cheeks burned, as did their lips. It was absolutely painful! Takuya was going red in the face. Krad suspected he was doing the same; he could feel his temperature and blood pressure rising rapidly. Takuya slammed a sauce-coated hand down onto the table, then dove for his fifth wing. Blinking back tears, Krad did the same.

"Two minutes," Hanabara announced.

"You guys are doing great! Don't slow down!" Cherri cheered. But they were definitely going slower now that the heat was battering at them.

"Don't think about it! Just keep shoving them in!" Cassie cried.

"Don't give up!" Standing, Miki raised two napkins in either hand as if they were pom-poms. She obviously had some practice being a cheerleader as she started to do a few precise arm movements.

The challenge was excruciating. Krad had never eaten food that wanted to fight back, but fight back this did! The needles were now trailing hooks down his throat. He coughed to clear it, but it did little good. He tried to ignore the rough sensation as he stuffed the next wing in his mouth, which felt swollen. Takuya, on his eighth, stopped for a breather, his mouth full and face covered in sweat. The pores on his skin looked huge. He sniffed, grabbing for a napkin to wipe off before attacking the challenge again.

"One minute."

Krad pitched forward and reached for a napkin to hold to his face. The girls all gasped, afraid, like he was, that he was about to lose it. It felt like something had kicked him in the stomach.

"No!" Miki shouted.

"Come on!" Cherri barked.

"...!" Cassie had covered her eyes.

His nose was running. He swiped it with the napkin, feeling as if he's lost two layers of skin from his upper lip in the process. This stuff was going to kill him! He swallowed what was in his mouth anyway, shook himself, then nearly ate his ninth wing whole in a rush, bones and all. Fire was alight inside his mouth. And nose. Oh God his blistered lips.

"Thirty seconds."

Three more to go. Takuya scrunched his face, breathing what he could past the lava in his mouth. "Mah noze is gonga fall off!" It did look inflamed. Krad tried not to think of how bad he looked as he went for his tenth.

"Twenty seconds."

"Hurry guys!" Cassie yelled.

"Pansies!" Cherri roared, lifting her glass high and sloshing some of her drink out the edges of it.

"Go! Go!" Miki cheered.

"Ten."

Both Takuya and Krad were on their last wings, each hurrying and trying not to grab for the milk. It was so tempting, and getting harder and harder to resist. The cups were right there with their condensation, looking so refreshing and relieving, and, above all, cool.

"Five, four –"

They both threw their cleaned wing bones down. But they couldn't sit back yet. "There's still some meat on some of them!" Miki and Cassie pointed out. Krad and Takuya scrambled to polish them off.

"–One, ZERO!"

Though their mouths were full, their plates were filled with only bones. Takuya immediately tore after more napkins, wiping his scorching lips and burning fingers. Krad did the same, then shimmed out of his cloak. It was just too warm for it now.

"All you boys have left to do is get it down and keep it that way for five minutes," Hanabara said. Takuya chewed faster and forced himself to swallow. "When can we drink?" he asked, tears streaming down his cheeks and wetting his already sweat-dampened shirt.

"After one minute." Hanabara scooped up their plates and continued to stand watch. It was part of the rules as referee – make sure no one cheats. Takuya laid his head down on the table in misery. "It hurts," he groaned.

"And I was going to take the challenge..." they heard one of the other customers say.

"Forget it," someone else answered.

"How do you two feel?" Miki asked, coming to stand close, looking a tad worried.

Takuya answered by grinding his face into the table. Krad was busy trying to stir as much air over his tongue as possible. It didn't seem to be helping any, so he discreetly closed his mouth and tried to breathe normally. The burn was enough to make his teeth ache, and his poor tongue felt stripped raw. Coals were glowing hot in his stomach (and seemed to be getting hotter), making his whole body feel uncomfortably warm, even without the heavy cloak.

"You guys don't look so good," Cherri said.

"You think?" Takuya lifted up to say, giving her a dirty look. She laughed.

"She's right; you guys must have sweat buckets," Miki said.

"And your eyes are bright and watery, and your faces bright red," Cassie added.

"That makes us feel a whole bunch better." Takuya put his head back down with a _thunk_.

"Minute is up; you both can drink," Hanabara said, not yet pocketing the watch.

Takuya had his milk gone before Krad even grabbed for his. But the white liquid was only a temporary relief. After a few seconds, the intense burn came right back.

"How long will we have to keep this up?" Krad asked, after his third glass of milk.

"It varies from person to person, but you two can't keep guzzling it down like that or you'll both spew. The body can only handle so much lactose at one time," Hanabara warned. And with that, Krad put his cup down. Takuya reluctantly did the same, but he couldn't quite let go of the plastic. Just his fingers wrapped around the coolness, at least, gave an illusion of comfort.

The rest of the five minutes passed slowly, in near agonizing silence. No one wanted to put the two in more agony by making them talk.

"This burn needs to go away!" Takuya tapped his foot rapidly and angrily, finally breaking the hush.

"It will eventually," Krad remarked, just as agitated, but his wings pulsing slightly open and close were the only outward sign of this. Cherri threw her arms around Takuya's neck, the movement a bit unbalanced. "Just get your mind on other things." He grumbled something in reply.

"Success! Congratulations! This will go down in our history; we've never had two to complete the challenge in one night!" Hanabara looked happy as she presented them with what looked like credit cards from out of her big apron's front pocket. They both had _Treb's_ as a logo on them, but instead of a magnetic strip on the back, they had giant barcodes to be scanned. "These are yours. Now if you'll stand over here we'll take your pictures, and then you're free to go wash up." Both men slowly stood. Krad was ready to leave; his stomach wasn't feeling any better, but he obliged for only one reason. He smirked, imagining what would happen tomorrow, and let the digital camera capture the expression. It was sure to drive the person he was thinking about insane.

"Urgh," Takuya complained as he and Krad exited the men's room a little later, "my stomach's starting to feel all prickly."

"And that's just the beginning!" Cherri came up to and slapped him on the back, much to the young man's aggravation. Cassie came up a step behind Krad, reaching to grab one of his arms tightly within her own as they continued to walk. "You're going to stay with us for a while longer, right?" she asked, her bottom lip protruding outward some as she looked up to him with the most pleading look she could muster. Barely a man alive could resist it, but Krad glanced down and shook his head impassively.

"I will be heading back to deal with the aftereffects on my own." Cassie let out a frustrated noise. Krad removed himself from her hold, making her even more disappointed.

"We come here every Friday night. Will you be joining us again sometime in the future?" Miki asked, then appeared stricken as she looked over at Takuya. "I mean..." She hung her head. Takuya stopped and turned around to face Krad. Being in front, this made all of them stop in their tracks.

"This is my last night here for a long time to come. Will you come by every now and again? The girls need someone else that will look after them and keep them out of trouble when they're here." Cherri hit his arm hard, but he only winced, determined to see this through. A small smile tugged at Krad's lips as he looked around, seeing his signed waver being tacked below an empty frame in the wall next to all the others. By tomorrow his photo would be hanging there. He glanced back at Takuya.

"Sure. I will be here tomorrow, actually." For _some_one was going to come inspect what had happened here.

Takuya couldn't look more appreciative as he bowed slightly. "Thank you very much!" Cherri still didn't look pleased with her arms crossed tightly, but Cassie was all thrills. "We should set something up," she said. But Krad was already bypassing them all for the doors. "Aw!" she pouted. The four ran to catch up just as the angel exited to the now rain-free night. The cleaner air did a lot to refresh him.

Goodbyes were quickly exchanged (impatiently on the angel's part), but Miki was in the very back and couldn't see. Her dress shoes slapped gently on the wet concrete as she pushed her way to the front and stopped not far from Krad. She seemed to realize she'd went a few steps farther towards him than was proper for her status, but chose to ignore it as she said cheerily, "Come see us soon!" Krad, who had been studying the night sky intensely, looked down at her. His eyes were serious and seared the small woman as all of his attention focused to her, but his face was more of a mask than it had ever been. A slim, pale hand larger than her own grabbed hers. She gasped, trembling some as he lifted her fingers up to his lips and pressed a light kiss there. The contact seemed to burn.

_It's probably just from the peppers_, she told herself. _It's not any kind of mark, or a sign of Fate. _

In stunned silence white wings fanned and Krad lifted into the dark, having learned a valuable lesson: Not all human life should be valued as he had originally thought. But later that night, if he could have killed Satoshi without ending his own existence, he would have.

He hadn't been able to fly very far before he'd been forced to land and walk to their apartment. The stabbing sensation in his stomach had him drawing in a fraction, and that didn't bode well with flying straight. But that wasn't nearly the worst of it; after much pacing in the living room and a few tantrums as the pain continued to escalate and refuse to let him lay down and rest, Krad knew he had to go. As in, use the bathroom.

He gulped and looked down the hall at the forbidding door. He'd never stayed out long enough to deal with the... _disadvantages_ of being mortal. That was _not_ for him. But Krad couldn't bring out Satoshi to handle this or he'd lose the bet for calling on help. So Krad tried to ignore it. He sat on the small two-seater couch and started preening the ends of his wings. He'd really made a mess of his feathers, dragging them like he'd done. But his lower bowels growled and quaked, not wanting to be denied. Eventually the pressure got so bad his fingers began trembling.

Standing, beyond irritated, he gave a dark glance at the bathroom. He shook his head in stern refusal. He wouldn't go! He just needed to focus on doing something else until morning, because then Satoshi would check on him, meaning he'd held out and won and he could retreat in a deep recess somewhere in their mind and be safe from this disturbing mortal dilemma.

But nothing worked. His body seemed to be losing the ability to hold itself together. It felt like his sanity was slipping until, finally, he ran into the bathroom cursing out loud every Hikari and Niwa he could name.

The bathroom door slammed shut with a finality. He was actually going to have to do this. He looked around the dull room. Did he have everything he needed? He tried to check a list off mentally, but his gut was threatening and wiping his mind blank.

"Uuuhh..."

Maybe music would drown this out and make it easier. He turned to open the door and instinctively his legs crossed. _Not going to make it! _He raced to the toilet, and woke the neighbors with his shouting of the agonizing burning and indignity.

**-.-**

Dark was suddenly out, replacing Daisuke as he stopped mid-run to the front door from the kitchen. Daisuke's morning toast dangled from his mouth as he stared back at the newspaper Daiki sat reading. His bookbag dropped heavily to the floor from his shoulder, forgotten. The toast soon followed.

A black and white picture of Krad stared back at him. Dark galloped, then kneeled, practically sticking his nose into the paper to zero in on the writing. Jumping out of his skin, Daiki lifted the newspaper away to see what had disturbed him, but Dark snatched it back down, hearing it tear in his haste.

"Dark? What...?" The old man was surprised out of his wits. He must be getting incredibly old not to notice the Hikari Curse on the freakin' front page!

Krad!

Right there!

The hell?

Had he slipped into another dimension last night as he'd slept?

Dark read: "'The white-winged angel that has sometimes been seen chasing the infamous Phantom Thief, took part in a challenge at _Treb's Diner & Bar_ late last night, introducing himself as Krad Hikari and winning the difficult Seppuku Challenge: Suicide Hot Wings, along with one other man, Takuya Yule.' What the hell? Krad in public? Has he finally snapped the rest of the way?" Daiki was turning the paper around where he could read it as Dark shot up, jumped over the fallen bookbag, and raced out the front door and down the street.

**'Dark! Someone probably saw that!' **Daisuke grimaced as he contemplated everyone knowing where The Phantom Thief lived. The hassle... The paparazzi!

"I don't care! I need to get to that diner and see what damage Krad did! Or maybe something about the place has attracted his interest! I need to find out what's going on!"

Dark was out of breath by the time he reached downtown and the diner. As he slowed to a stop before the darkened double doors, his hand flew to loosen his collar, which stretched out Daisuke's school uniform and broke off a few buttons. Oh well. He had much more pressing matters at the moment.

He carefully pushed open a door, peering in to study the interior of the place. It looked classy and classic – a place he'd very much like to hang out in. What had Krad been doing here? What was his reasoning? That anti-socialist had to have a very good reason motivating him.

Dark walked halfway in, stopping as Krad's framed picture behind the register spotted him. The too-knowing expression gave him a chill. He wanted to blow it off the wall.

"Excuse me," he said, coming up fast to the woman running the bar. A small part of him was distracted enough to wonder if they served alcohol this early in the day. Her slightly flat face looked up at him from whatever she was doing and she stared at him with captivated eyes behind a dusting of freckles. "What do you know about that guy?" Dark asked, pointing at Krad's picture. She jerked as she twisted to look behind her. She quickly faced him again. "I don't know; I wasn't here. You'll have to ask night shift," she said a little breathlessly.

Dark's brows quickly wrinkled and he frowned, trying to think. Something felt very wrong here.

The woman's eyes suddenly flicked to stare behind him, but Dark had been too lost in his thoughts and reacted late. Hands came down on his shoulders and fingers dug into the pressure points there. His body automatically started folding to the floor, but the strong hands turned him on his heels, spinning him on the spot. He couldn't believe he'd made it this easy for Krad to catch him. He continued to berate himself even as he fought the debilitating effects of the hold and tried to break free.

Glittering gold eyes pierced him and glared mischievously and levelly into his amethyst ones. What was about to happen? Did Krad want him to see his deathblow coming?

He blinked as he noticed something sticking from Krad's mouth. It looked like a black pepper; the tip cut as its juices dripped out of it. He was too startled and still too physically stunned to do much more than grunt as Krad's face pressed to his own. Golden hair wrapped around him like silk and golden eyelashes swept downwards, almost closing, but not quite. Whatever was in Krad's mouth speared between his lips. The invading object smashed to a stop upon the barrier of his teeth, the shock of which gave him the force to break backwards. Black wings sprung out and shot in opposite directions, coming forward to hammer Krad and send him dropping to the floor.

Dark's eyes were wider than they'd ever been. He couldn't have been more shocked by anything in this world than what had just transpired.

"K-krad! What are you thinking –" Dark couldn't finish his remark as he slapped a hand to his suddenly burning mouth. Krad smiled as he looked up, getting up and dusting himself off, the pepper having rolled somewhere.

"A Kiss of Burning for my dear enemy," Krad sneered, turning to walk calmly away.

"Krad! What was that?" Dark started panicking, wiping his mouth as hard as he could on the sleeve of his shoulder. It didn't help; only made it feel like he was tearing his lips off. Black wings fanned up and down, desperate, it seemed, to cool the fiery wrath of whatever it was that Krad had used on him. Krad gave a smirk over his shoulder, continuing on to exit to the sidewalk. He had a small thing of milk that he was drinking as he walked past the windows. Dark bared his teeth and ran after him to demand answers. "What were you thinking? Have you gone flat insane? What was that?" Dark puffed as he ran in front of Krad, ready to pound his opposite to a pulp. And ready to scratch his own tongue off it was hurting so bad.

"So to catch you, I need to get you chasing me?" Krad smirked, then drank more milk. He knew he'd end up getting a taste of some of the oils. Dark eyed the container before snatching for it. Krad was quicker and lifted it out of reach as Dark began almost dancing around for it, his wings beating in time to his steps. Krad laughed as Dark cursed, managing to just keep it out of his reach.

"It hurts, you sonuvabit–"

**_I've got to keep thinking of ways to beat Krad and get rid of him,_ **Satoshi thought quietly. **_Next time, I'll have a real plan._**


	3. Chapter 3

Don't need another disclaimer, so...enjoy the one-shot!

**)*('Opera'tive Krad)*(**

By: Fireflower19

**-****)*(****-**

Satoshi was tired of it. _Sick_ and _tired_ of it.

He needed a way to keep Krad locked away, but how? He couldn't use a seal of his own on himself—Krad was too powerful for that to work. And there was nothing he could threaten to take away from the demonic angel. If anything, that would always be reversed tenfold on himself.

But, as always, though the question was never far from his thoughts, he could never come up with a plausible solution. Maybe he should just try some random things and see what bugged Krad the most. Maybe he could get rid of the curse through annoyance alone. Satoshi had to admit Krad had nearly taken over a few times using constant attacks of agitation.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander...

But, it wasn't until a few days later and he'd come home after school, his homework already finished as usual, that he actually came across what he was needing, by chance only.

He plopped down on the little couch in front of the TV, his bookbag discarded in front of his legs. Reaching for the remote on the three-legged lamp stand, he cut the "noise box" (as Krad called it) on, and let his mind wonder as he stared blankly at the moving contents within the screen.

Satoshi was mentally exhausted, and too far beyond frustrated to be angry. The emotion was pointless now. It would only serve to drain him further.

And he'd had enough of that.

What could he do?

He grumbled to himself and sighed; there was nothing to do but go through with his predestined destiny and try to enjoy what little side adventures there would be. Course, he had to limit the enjoyment of those for fear of his "other self" breaking free.

He closed his eyes and his mind mercifully blanked, rather than keep running in mute circles. And with _his_ mental voice quietening, his mind wandered on to a mediocre thought. It wasn't exactly pleasant, or cheerful, but it was something new to focus on.

_I don't usually get a chance to just sit down this early in the day._

This thought was punctuated by a quick look out the window and to the sunny-blue sky.

_Usually it's either my part-time job I've got to scramble to, or I've got to hurry and deal with the police to head Dark off, or I've got a few personal research projects going on. _

Satoshi glanced at his computer where a three-ringed and mostly full binder rested open. A pen lay centered on one of the pages. Admittedly, his research would never be done. Not in his lifetime.

The Hikari research would never be complete.

He lifted his hand toward it and waved it off, pausing at himself to wonder why he just physically shrugged an inanimate object away.

_I'm just going to relax. Nothing is in dire need of attention right now. Though, I think there are a couple of dishes in the sink..._

Blue hair shook side-to-side in stern refusal as he leaned into the cushions behind him, eyes closed.

_ They can wait; there is nothing wrong with me sitting here for a few minutes._

**'Satoshi...'**

Satoshi jumped, throwing a quick glimpse at the TV in the possible hopes that it was just the serious-talking couple on there that had spoken.

**'The protagonist male does not share your name,'** Krad confirmed himself.

Satoshi groaned.

'I finally get a chance to be lazy and today is one of the rare days you want loose in the apartment?' The bluenette cursed his bad luck and drew a hand over his heart, preparing for the inevitable pain to come piercing through.

**'No.'**

The answer brought a look of confusion across Satoshi's face.

**'The dullness of the disturbance created by that blasted noise box woke my consciousness. Change channels or turn it off and I will leave you alone.'**

"What?" Being able to relax wasn't the only unusual thing happening today.

_Why is he not forcing me to do something with him now that he's already awake? Could he not be feeling well?_

Satoshi sat up a little straighter, finally paying attention to what was airing on TV. Since this was the first time the TV had been on so early, it wasn't a show he was familiar with.

Not that he really knew or followed many series...

The serious-talking couple were no longer talking, but kissing passionately. They soon broke apart due to the door in their living-room busting open. In the doorway entered a royally pissed-off man with more than the average amount of muscle. His stern, dark eyes fell on the woman, then the man still holding her. With fury the muscular man stepped into the room, heading straight at the first man, whom was definitely a great deal slimmer... But he stood his ground, turning to keep the woman safely protected behind him.

_"Stop this, Rex!"_ The woman screamed over her new lover's shoulder. _"I told you, we're through!"_

**'Would you quit watching that infernal thing!' **Krad hissed, his temper—for some odd reason—flaring. Satoshi leaned back and chuckled.

"You...don't like soap operas?"

Krad snorted. **'There is nothing remotely useful or interesting about them.'**

A savage pleasure stole through Satoshi as he recalled his idea from a few days ago. This would be the prefect opportunity to put _Annoyance Alpha_ into action.

There would be repercussions. Of that there was no doubt. But he was already paying too high of a price doing nothing but trying to live peacefully.

The idea was more than reckless, but damn, just the thought of being to Krad what the blond angel had been to him was making his insides bubble with glee. Besides, this could-possibly-maybe be the way to further tame the beast... Providing he had found something positively loathing that Krad could not stand and therefore would not dare to provoke in case it got used...

"That's too bad, Krad, because I've become interested and will continue to watch." Satoshi calmly made himself more comfortable on the couch, quietly steeling himself for the retaliation he knew was surely coming. And sure enough, before the fists in the drama had even begun flying...

**'You cannot be serious,'** Krad seethed. **'I take pity on you, and all I ask in return is for you to... You cannot be serious,'** Krad repeated, his mental voice becoming full of dismay and astonishment.

"I am." Satoshi let slip a sneer. That's when his other self became aware of his host's feelings. How could he not have noticed them before? They were so much stronger than usual, and freer.

His little Tamer was biting off more than he could chew. He always did.

**'Do not think to play games with me!'** Krad's vehemence sent a shock wave through his skull, and he grabbed his head with both hands as if to keep the two halves from splitting apart. The familiar pain didn't much phase Satoshi, but its very familiarness brought his mood sharply crashing down. He was determined, though, and in his determination he would win.

'SHUT UP AND WATCH THE SHOW!' Satoshi mentally bellowed back, and he felt Krad recoil as if he'd been zapped by an extremely harsh shock.

Good.

It brought a satisfied grin to his face as he took back up the remote and switched the volume up some. Now they could hear dramatic—if only a little cheesy—music playing. The man and woman were now alone on a white balcony overlooking a city. The man was cut and bruised, but the woman still looked at him with wonder in her eyes as they roamed the features of his face...

**'I will vomit...inside your brain.'** Krad gave a small, sick-sounding little burp. It caused a disturbing chill to shiver through the bluenette. It also made him somewhat nauseous.

"That's not physically possible. What are you trying to accomplish, Krad?"

**'The question should be: What are you trying for, Satoshi? I'm centuries learned and well beyond your capabilities. You will not win, but I will humor you and play this game of yours. It might prove amusing.'** The white angel's grin was apparent within his words, and his excitement was near the level that Satoshi's had been before the headache.

_Still is_, Satoshi corrected himself. He wasn't about to let Krad reverse this round on him, too. That was always Krad's forte: Turn what ever action used against back on its source.

Not this time; he'd had enough. This time he'd get the upper-hand and annoy Krad if it was the last thing he did!

Satoshi brought his hands together in anticipation as much as thought. He felt the ghosting of feathers ruffle down his shoulder blades. It was most disconcerting how difficult it was to stay only himself when he and his inner devil shared the same agenda.

He should never have relied on the power of his curse so long ago. He was human, albeit with more than the average set of talents, but human nonetheless. And was thankful for this fact to his very soul.

It was best to be a limited human—less chance to hurt and make devastating mistakes. Not to mention that if he lived forever there was no way he'd stay sane. Maybe that's why the angels had to merge with Tamers in the first place; the human existence worked as a kind of anchor and refresher.

Satoshi mentally shook himself. These were not thoughts that were important right now. His bright-blue eyes took in the TV again, only now noticing that Krad had had nothing to say in his brief lapse of silence. But the angel hummed to himself, and pondered, turning something over and over again within his mind. Satoshi felt Krad shift, and knew, without doubt, his other had mulled in his personal thoughts.

'Stay out of what doesn't belong to you,' Satoshi threw the warning mentally, while simultaneously slamming a barrier into place to shield his inner-most self.

Instead of trying to penetrate the hastily-made hindrance and make a statement, as was usual, it was as if Krad simply got up and walked to another part of his head. Something of flowing gold simultaneously flashed close on his left. Satoshi jerked his head in the direction, then up, seeing Krad as a solid apparition coming to walk around the couch behind him.

**'But you do belong to me, Satoshi.'**

Krad wrapped his arms around the tense but unresisting smaller body, bending to rest his chin on back of the sturdy cushions as he kneeled on an insubstantial knee. Satoshi looked hatefully at the arms gripping him. No, they weren't actually gripping him, no matter what his brain and senses were saying. Though he could feel the weight and strength of them, his clothes and the couch itself held no depression.

The hold was a lie, just like everything else about the _angel_.

Satoshi began shaking, lost in his own cold thoughts. Krad studied the short wealth of silky blue hair that would tickle his nose if he could feel the sensation. Possessive gold eyes traveled down to the slender neck connecting to slowly growing and broadening shoulders as his host aged. Affection nearly stole his breath away. Satoshi didn't realize how much like a son he was to Krad.

Providing what Krad felt could be comparable to human terms. After all, the curse was only trying to shape his object and keep it the instrument he needed it to be for hunting. It wasn't the easiest of relationships to understand and be in, especially when one hated and refused it with all of their will.

There could be no other way. One day Satoshi would relent and come to terms.

Krad smiled lightly as Satoshi stayed quiet. How easy it was to win against the younger boy. It was a bit saddening though; he'd wanted to play longer.

As if reading his mind, the volume of the TV suddenly skyrocketed. He immediately took back his earlier notion of wanting to keep this absurd game going.

**'You are going to get evicted for disturbing the noise ordinance,'** Krad said, more in the hopes of deterring the use of the deafening noise. Krad had to admit that, simple as it was, he rather liked their apartment. Weird, as he never allowed himself to become fond of most things.

'I don't care,' Satoshi spoke through their mental-link, so as to be easily heard over the blaring commotion.

Krad frowned. What was with Satoshi being so reckless today? Had he broken the boy down some more, or was this a new level of resistance?

Sending the right signals through the nervous system so that Satoshi could feel it, Krad leaned into the bluenette's ear and whispered, **'You can either turn that blasted thing off, or I will jump from the roof.'**

Satoshi's only response was a single, humorless chuckle.

** 'You know I am not kidding. I have jumped from your roof many a time.' **

'To fly each time.' Satoshi rested his cheek casually in his palm. 'You have a funny way of implying suicide.'

**'It is not for suicide, but freedom. I will use my wings again, of course.'**

'No. I won't let you up there,' Satoshi sent through their link in a soft, but mocking way. Krad sneered at the open challenge.

**'You do not hold me locked unwillingly, Satoshi. You may fight me, but I have won every time. Though, admittedly, certain **_**factors**_** can cause me to back off. But the hard fact remains that I could have my way absolutely.'**

'I, for some reason, doubt those words.'

Krad shot without mercy to the forefront of their mind, grabbing complete control in an instant. Seizing up, Satoshi only had time for a quick gasp. Krad stood his ridged body up and made to walk. Unfortunately for the both of them, he forgot where Satoshi had laid his bookbag upon arrival. He moved to take that first step without glancing down, and the bookbag leaned with him, before refusing to be pressed any further and sending him off balance, crashing over it to the floor.

And just like that, Satoshi lifted himself up, gaping, staring at his sprawled lower-half draped over the hard and poking corners of text books buried within the bulging cloth full of zippers; which were stretch almost to the point of snapping open.

'Krad, you were stopped by a bookbag that time...' Satoshi couldn't resist underlining, even though Krad was mad enough to be comparable to a snake spitting venom.

**'You were taught better not to leave stuff lying around!'**

Wild laughter exploded out of the bluenette, despite now he knew Krad (whom had sounded very childish just then) could very well blaze right past his struggles if he so chose. Krad must usually fight against Satoshi for more than just the obvious torment; taking over so fast had to have serious drawbacks. And Satoshi was more than suspecting that one was it left too much mental instability. For the shock of the fall should not have been enough to throw Krad back.

'Oh, look,' he said a few minutes later, collecting himself and facing forward at the blaring TV, 'we have a good view of them... _I thought that was restricted on regular channels_...'

** 'HOW DISGUSTING!'** Krad raved, taking back enough control to drive their head to the floor and keep from seeing.

_BANG_!

Satoshi once again lifted himself up, rubbing a hand to his forehead. He didn't know if the tears beginning to stream down his face were due more to all the laughing he was doing, or more for the abuse his skull was taking.

** 'My ears cannot take that squeaking of their bed! Turn it down!'**

Satoshi scrambled up-right and onto the couch for the remote. He didn't want his neighbors to think the worst of him. Come to think of it, why hadn't any of them complained about the loudness yet? Possibly because he was a cop?

Both curse and host jumped as a gunshot went off in the program and resounded off the walls of the room. Seemed the muscle-guy was back madder than ever.

_I hope the neighbors realize that wasn't real..._

A picture hanging in the hallway clacked to the floor.

Hands jerking and fumbling, Satoshi finally pointed the remote the right way at the TV and lowered the volume. He waited, sitting on his knees with his feet speared between the cushions, barely daring to breathe so his straining ears could pick up on the first sound of sirens.

Wouldn't that look great on his record, to have his fellow officers called to his living courters under the pretense of a shoot out? His father would never stop berating him about it, and would never cease to use it as a barb to further obstruct his investigation.

_"He may be an exceptional worker, but he's proven himself incapable of holding __some of the little-everyday-things together, so he'll be taking his vacation early again."_

He could just hear his father's gentle, yet condescending voice slathering on the fake adoration and care, fooling everyone at the station, and then turning on him.

_"It happens from time-to-time. Small mistakes. You understand—it happens to the best of us. But perhaps you wanted more attention from your co-workers..."_

Or the worse one, knowing good and damn well how it would all turn out, but tarnishing his file and reputation all the same: _"This line of work can be too hard on some people, let alone a child. I think I'll have a mental evaluation ordered. Just to be sure you aren't over-doing yourself."_

That's all he needed. Then Abby would have all the confirmation she needed to think he was deranged. She had already seen what he was like after a particularly vicious attack from Krad on his psyche. She had wandered back into the locker room after a group dismissal, and saw him groping and clinging from locker to locker, a hand clinched over his face.

A couple of knocks came swiftly and urgently at his front door. Once again, Krad and Satoshi jumped. Why is it when that happened in unison he seemed to lift twice as high into the air?

Satoshi hurried to the door, giving a quick peep out the sight glass and seeing his slightly frazzled old neighbor standing with her green whatever-the-hell-rejuvenating concoction of a mask smeared on her winkled face. He quickly unlocked and pulled the door open, and before he could get a word in she rushed in her overly loud, shrilly voice.

"Dear me, boy, I thought I heard a blast, or maybe a crash. Is everything alright? Nearly stopped my heart. Pure shook the pots hanging in my kitchen. You're not hurt, are you?"

Satoshi shook his head and exhaled slowly, averting his eyes from the wide-eyed and slightly bloodshot pair in front of him. He could smell the faint twang of bitter-staleness from her. She'd been drinking again, and enjoying a bit much from the looks of it. Even though it went against her doctor's orders.

"Do tell what happened," she ordered, giving a flip of her wrist, her eyes sparkling with mirth, as if she were about to hear a particular juicy bit of information. Satoshi raised an eyebrow.

"I stepped on the remote," he said dully.

"And fell?" The tips of her fingers touched over her heart in an overly dramatic way, and what showed of her thin, green-covered eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. She looked Satoshi up and down in disbelief.

"No–"

"Didn't think so; you're way too slight to make _that_ much noise." She gave a few barely perceptible shakes of her head. They really were no different from a series of quick trembling jerks. It almost looked as if she'd had a small seizure.

"Auhh..." Satoshi pushed the glasses higher on his nose, and glanced around at the woodwork. He wasn't sure how to respond to the indirect insult. Well, no, not indirect insult so much as a touchy topic where he was concerned.

"Tell me the truth." She drilled him with a stare, a somewhat naughty grin lifting the sagging corners of her mouth. His brow wrinkled as he frowned at her. He tried explaining again, very clearly.

"It was the TV. I mashed the volume by mistake."

She tutted. Satoshi felt a prickle of agitation stir.

"What about all those noises I heard before that? You going to blame that on the television, too?"

Satoshi used cool logic to keep his face from heating up, unable to believe he was having this conversation with his neighbor, Bertha.

"Yes." He sounded exasperated.

"But all those perky and fast-paced squeaks–"

It was rude and he knew it, but he slammed the door in her face.

He hadn't even moved before a rapid series of knocks came again.

He reluctantly opened the door.

"Well, that was rude," she said, flipping gray, wispy curls over her shoulder.

"I know. I'm sorry. Can I invite you in for tea to make up for it?" He stepped aside to show how earnest he was, although in his honest opinion she was being meddlesome and unabashed about it. But she was still an elder and to be treated with _some_ respect.

She didn't hesitate stepping inside.

"Why, of course!" she trilled. "I would love some unsweetened Green Tea, if you have it."

He nodded and turned, walking for the kitchen. A shriek about shoved his heart and lungs into his throat. He whipped around, nearly slinging his glasses off to see her mouth dropped open and her arm stretched, pointing at something beyond in the living-room.

"That's my favorite soap opera!"

With much more flounce in her step than someone should have at her age, she took off and sat herself on his couch, smoothing her flowery dress and practically soaking in whatever the TV was spouting.

"It's the same show which caused all the noise," Satoshi explained, still trying to calm his overly-stimulated nerves. She threw a hand back and waved in acknowledgment, not sparing a look from the screen.

"Yes, yes! I believe you! Rodriguez and Sandra can certainly be voracious. But you must come here and watch this! This is where Rex has captured Rodriguez and exacts his revenge for stealing Sandra away!" She was on the edge of her seat from excitement, hands clasped tightly in her lap. Satoshi sighed and continued his trek to the kitchen.

"I'll bring drinks first." If this was how his gift of an unusual day was going to go, he wished he could return it.

"Okay! Hurry!"

'You've become awful quiet,' Satoshi prodded the inner hunter as he brought a small pot full of water to the stove.

**'I do not much like that woman,'** Krad growled, **'her voice is appalling!'**

'True. But you realize the severity of what will happen if you attack her.'

It wasn't a question. Not even a statement. But a soft threat.

**'This is one of those factors that I will back away from. But **_**you**_** realize what I want after times like these.'**

A reminder for who had the most dominance.

Satoshi made a small noise of confirmation in the back of his throat, reaching for a couple of coffee cups from his cupboard. He also took down a couple of small plates to carry the hot cups, as well as a few condiments for the tea. Would ginger coffee biscuits be good to have along with it?

'You know, this means you're going to be stuck watching the soap opera after all.' Satoshi tried to keep it a simple statement and not sound smug, or let amusement and satisfaction tingle as he grabbed the box of tea bags and set it on the counter. It wouldn't do to provoke the devil more than he already was. But he needn't have bothered; Krad was stunned speechless for a few seconds.

**'You and that damned show... You are not watching it!'**

'I don't have much of a choice.' Satoshi removed the heated water from the stove top and carefully poured it into an ivory teapot. He slipped in two tea bags and covered the top with the lid. 'I invited a guest in, and now this guest wants me to join in a simple enough activity.'

**'You will not think it simple with me. You would chance me taking over as I did earlier?'**

Satoshi arranged the cups with their plates and condiments on a small, silver tray, adding a pack of those unopened biscuits upon second thought.

'The fact that you have always had to fight with me, could not maintain control after an abrupt shock, _plus_ having mentioned it as a way of deterring rather than surprising me with it later, leads me to believe that you _can't_ do something like that again very soon, or at least not very easily.'

Krad grumbled. Satoshi's ability to deduce was something to be both proud of and resentful. The bluenette smirked as he picked up the labored tray and left the kitchen.

**'You did not fight me in the early days.'** Krad's mellowed, matter-of-fact tone stopped Satoshi in his tracks as much as the words themselves did. Hateful anger engulfed them, sweeping through and burning their innards like black fire.

'_Liar!_' The word and its double-meaning were coated in acid.

Krad backed-off, but did not fully recede. This was enough to appease as Satoshi quickly rid himself of the remnants of emotion and, with it, reluctant memories. He delivered the tray to the woman stoically and moved to drag the quaint coffee table more directly in front of the couch. Taking back the tray, he set it before them and sat himself.

_**If only he knew what that level of emotion does to me. He might opt to feel things more deeply. ...No. He is as afraid of them as much as I.**_

Bertha happily took her tea as Satoshi handed it to her. She wrapped her bony fingers around the warmth of it and gave him a small smile. "I never thought my little kid of a neighbor and I would have something in common," she said. Satoshi gave a small grunt, neither confirming or denying this, but rather let her keep thinking whatever made her happy.

After a dainty sip from her cup, she continued, "But what has me confounded is how someone your age was able to purchase this series." She shrugged, and drank more of her tea. "But I guess since you're part of the police force that grants you all sorts of little perks. How did you come across _Crime of Love_? Most men won't be caught dead watching it, though I just know that most of them secretly covet it! I've overheard quite a few of the _male_ club members down the street talking about it!" Bertha was watching him intensely, but kept darting looks at the TV out the corner of her eye, keeping track of her beloved program.

A cup clattered back down the few inches it had risen from the tray, miraculously not cracking.

Satoshi turned toward Bertha, unable to process her question because of a word replaying over and over again in his head: _"'purchase'"_.

He became aware that his mouth was open and shut it.

"What do you mean?"

"Now don't be shy!" she laughed. "I already know you like it. How did you find out about it?"

"No, I meant what did you mean the show has to be purchased?"

She looked at him knowingly, giving a growing smile and a wink.

"I get it. You don't want to talk about it. But I'm sure you'll open up and tell me once you see how big of a fan I am. I promise I won't tell," she added, as if in hopes this would assure Satoshi to spill his hidden desires.

"Excuse me." Satoshi stood and calmly walked for the bathroom.

"Do hurry back! Rex is bringing out the ropes! You _need_ to see what happens with the pulling torture!"

He slammed the door.

'Krad...'

This was going to be the most awkward discussion yet.

**'Yes...?'**

Was it just him, or did the hunter sound like he was dreading something?

'I knew that magnitude of... I knew that series shouldn't be on a regular channel. You purchased it, didn't you?'

A long pause.

**'It must have been your father when he was here last Thursday.'**

Satoshi ran a hand through his hair in exasperation and leaned back on the door.

'That was pathetic, Krad.'

Loud and frantic knocks came. Satoshi jumped forward a foot in the air.

"Hey! Hey! Rex is bringing out the knives and electricity!" Bertha yelled excitedly. Satoshi growled out, cussing.

**'Satoshi-sama...'** Krad almost whimpered, **'can we go watch it? Please...?'**

Another long pause, in which Bertha could only imagine what was going on behind the door in front of her. Then...

"OH MY GOD!" Satoshi roared.

"I KNOW! HURRY, WOULD YOU?" she hollered back, misunderstanding.

The bathroom door was suddenly thrown open. Her hand was grabbed as Satoshi barreled out, running them to the couch.

"I've been waiting all season to see this!" He leaped on the cushions, followed closely by her. Bertha laughed hysterically. She didn't even mind that for some weird reason Satoshi had put in yellow contacts while he'd been in the bathroom. They were actually a very pretty gold color.

Well, people usually did weird things to prepare for their favorite shows. When they were obsessed anyway.

The actual Satoshi died a little inside as her and Krad ranted on and on about the series and their favorite parts and scenes.

'...I only got into it for the torture.'

** 'Just leave me alone.'**

How did Krad always manage to turn everything back on him?

**-****)*(****-**


End file.
